How can you tell if it’s really unconditional love?

posted in: My Two Cents Worth | 3

Unconditional love is simultaneously the most abundant source of energy within us and the most sought-after thing everyone seems to be searching for. So if that love is ever present in all of us, then why is everybody thinking they have to “find it”? The short answer is: unconditional love doesn’t have to be found. Let’s explore this in more detail now…

Terms & conditional love.

We’ve come to identify love as a thing, like an object you possess; say, for example, the television remote control. It can be located, found, acquired, earned, held, used, hidden, lost, broken, and taken away.

But the kind of “love” that has instructions and terms & conditions, like the remote, is not that inherent unconditional love we all have within us and want to feel from others. Many confuse emotional manipulation with love; for example, if a desired outcome is achieved, then “love” is granted. If not, it’s revoked. This what I would call conditional love, but it’s not really love at all. It’s more like a “love facade” because it’s simply an agenda parading around as love.

If you’ve ever said, or had someone say this to you, “If you really loved me you’d do [insert action] for me” – that’s not unconditional love. That’s the remote. That’s an agenda using love as a pawn in a game.

There is only one true love and it’s unconditional. Every other sort of “love”, while it may have its positives and usefulness at times, is more like a strategy to get someone to do the bidding of another – be it consciously or unconsciously done.

What is unconditional love then?

Unconditional love is a state of being and not some ‘thing’. It’s where you blossomed from. The seed of your heart that honours the commonality we all share with life. It’s what you felt for your family before you knew they were your family, when you were an infant, but what you forgot as you were taught different rules to the game of life.

Unconditional love is what you feel when you have the chance to see the true beauty in others; when you’re truly grateful for what you have; when you serve others selflessly without expectation; and when you continue to love deeply, even after there is no trace left.

You probably knew that right? At least some of how I just described unconditional love? But I’m not just rolling out a list of platitudes to make a feel good blog post. I want you to remember that there is a difference in loving unconditionally and what seems to be parading as love at times.

So let’s think about this in context. Let’s apply that state of being to how you feel about your children or perhaps your fur-babies. With your children or fur-baby in mind, let me ask:

  • Can you see the beauty in them even if others cannot?
  • Are you grateful that they’re in your life?
  • Do you serve them selflessly?
  • Will you always love them, regardless of where they are or even after they’re gone?

I can guess your answers, and that my sweet friend. That’s unconditional love.  If you answered no to any of those questions, then you have put restrictions on your love for some form of personal gain, even if you feel that gain is for the other’s ‘own good’.  Answering no doesn’t mean you don’t truly love the other, it just means you have learned how to ‘toy’ with that original, beautiful state of love just to satisfy some other need.

Reverse the situation. How would you feel if you were denied that life-enriching feeling just because you didn’t perform to the standards of another? If a flower isn’t blooming, you don’t deny it the sun or the rain. Do you? Something to think about my friends 🙂  #biglove

3 Responses

  1. Kamal

    Love has been REALLY on my mind lately. So I thought I’d check and see what was on my reiki teacher’s mind and lo and behold, a blogpost about love. There must be something going on. And infusion of love is being poured on this earth as a remedy perhaps for all the hate being stirred.

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