Most of us, at some point in our lives, have loved wholeheartedly. Loving without condition, without judgement, and giving your all, irrespective of the outcome because you love wholly, that is loving wholeheartedly. Finding an instance of this in your life is often times attached to one’s childhood, or perhaps when you had your own children (be they human or adopted from the animal kingdom) – when you recall it, the feeling is so pure, so wonderful. It’s blissful.
As we continue to go through life, we experience the full gamut of emotions. From the best times to the worst, around and around we go. Then at some point, we falter. We stop loving wholeheartedly. We stopped giving our all. We start loving conditionally, and perhaps hardly at all.
What happened, why did we hesitate?
Well, just like this wooden heart I’m holding in my hand, we start off open, unabashed and ready to love and be loved. Bare, open and pure.
Then we experience disappointment, judgement, and criticism. And with each sting, we wrap our heart up to shield it from the feelings we don’t like. Then someone betrays us, or lies to us, so we protect our hearts more by hiding it and putting it away for safekeeping.
Now tell me, is this heart – which is wrapped up, bagged, and boxed – going to be capable of loving wholly from where I’ve now placed it? And do you think it might be just a little hard for it to be loved in return? We can all understand why it’s been placed in this little box, but how can you love, and be loved, from within the constraints of that box?
It’s stronger than you think
Your heart is considered the strongest muscle in your physical body. On average it beats 72 times a minute which is 100,000 times a day! That’s 3.6 million times a year – those are serious numbers. By wrapping it up and putting it away, you deny it the ability to do what it does best, and that’s being strong and loving strong.
I am not saying to let people walk all over you and your heart or to stress it unnecessarily. Far from it, this isn’t about allowing others to dupe or use you. But what I am saying is that in order to be loved fully, one must love fully too. And how will you be able to let that powerful part of you do so when it’s trapped in a box?
Sure, it will get a scrape here and there. And sometimes it will hurt pretty bad. But then, then there will be times when it’s so full of love! So wonderful and glowing! Even in my own experiences of deep grief and sadness – felt truly from my heart – I’ve come to realise that the pain I felt was purely proportionate to how deeply and strongly I loved.
That hurting feeling in your heart is not a fun experience to go through, and of course, one we all want to avoid (even myself, I’m not immune to wanting to protect it!), but when we do go through through those sad emotions, once your tears are dried up, remember that it’s a measure of your ability to love.
Don’t take that feeling as an excuse to wrap up that heart and put it in a box. Because if you do, you’ll not only deprive others of being able to love you fully, but you will deprive yourself of experiencing it, too. Thank you for joining me today, and I hope you live fully, learn eagerly and love wholly…it’s what we’re built to do! #biglove