Being positive helps you focus on your game

Is living a positive life some sort of airy-fairy, pie-in-the-sky, un-achievable way of living? I’ve had quite a lot of experiences in my life of people saying to me that “You aren’t being real” or “You’re ignoring the issue at hand”.  The only reason why they’re saying that is because I tend to err on the positive side of life.

So, what I wanted to talk about today is that being a positive person, or thinking the best of others, or hoping and expecting the best outcome, doesn’t make one ignorant of life. But what it does do, is make you a really good player in the game of life!

A little more explanation.

So I’m aware of world events, I’m aware of negative things happening – even in my own life – just like you! But the point of difference here is that I’ve learned how to process these negative things – be they unfulfilled aspirations or goals or events I don’t like – where the fact that they happened doesn’t wear my energy down.

How do I live like this?

Well, you’ll see a theme throughout all my blogs of something called, ‘letting go’. I feel the feelings of disappointment upset, even anger from time to time – and I’m aware of things going on around me. But because I’m aware of it, I’m able to process it and go, “Alright! That didn’t happen the way I wanted it to”, or “Geez the world’s in a precarious state”, or “Why did that person do this or that”, or “Why are these outcomes not what I want?”

Once I process the relevant question, I ask myself, “What can I control?” If you don’t do this step in awareness, of recognising what you can control – and you just let whatever the negative outcome is affect you to the point you dwell on it (like “There are no good people left” or “Nothing ever goes my way”), then your focus in life becomes that negative.

And the more you focus on it, the more you believe it. And the more you believe it, the more you’ll get that negative result in your life.

Is this just avoiding the issue?

No, living a positive life isn’t about avoiding the issues at hand or the hurdles you face. Living a positive life is about keeping your focus, as much as you can, on the things you do want in life. Sure, you might not have the ideal job, or have found your perfect partner, or be where you want to be right now – but what you can control, is the enjoyment level of your experiences as you go through them.

That’s the part of life you ultimately have control over – how you feel in response to what’s happening to you ‘out there’.

To me, this is the ideal way to live the life you want.  You are in this game of life, and you want to play the game really well, you don’t want to be a bad sport – because we all know how we feel about those who deny outcomes and storm off the court.

When you have a good attitude, but also a realistic one – where you acknowledge, “Okay, that didn’t work but I’m going to try another way!” or perhaps you’re going to try something else, that is good sport – a good ‘team player’ in this game of life.

Your challenge.

If you’re already a positive type of person, who lives this way – just keep living your life, your dreams, and don’t worry about those who don’t believe you or like you. You can’t control them, but you can control you – so stay focused on that.

Now the harder challenge is for those who tend to be more negative in their life’s journey.  The next time something comes up that you get upset or negative about. Instead of being upset allllll the way home, or talk about it endlessly – I challenge you to acknowledge it. Embrace it, feel that disappointment or upset. Let your brain ramble on.

Then ask your ego brain that’s on a negative rampage, “Hold up! If I think about it anymore, what’s this going to do for me?” And your mind might say, “To keep you from doing it again”. But then you’ll respond saying, “I get that but, you see, if I keep thinking about it it keeps my focus on that, so I’ll likely do it again. That’s not a good answer.” Then your mind will try to replay the negative again, and you’ll ask it, “So how is this making my life better right now?” Ultimately, your brain will be stumped and not be able to give you an answer that’s supportive or worth your while.

Overcoming it.

So you’ve felt it, you’ve thought about it. It’s crap. But you can’t control it, it’s not what you wanted – but what can you control? What you’re going to do from here.  That’s what you can control. So you need to focus your thoughts on working out what you need to do, to get to where you want. Either planning the next steps, or allow others to do what they want, or just do what’s best for you.

Then let it go and move on with your life.

Be a good player in your game of life – acknowledge the defeats, process and analyse the next steps to overcome whatever it was, and do it this way so you aren’t letting negative events affect a majority of your journey. I hope you found this helpful sweet friends, and good luck – be the best you starting now! #biglove

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22 thoughts on “Be a good sport! How being positive helps you win at the game of life.”

  1. By being positive you can help yourself during the hardships of life. You can explore your status quo more briskly. You optimism helps you in visualizing the brighter side of life. Maybe your brown studies and introspections are a little less than encouraging. But if you don’t let it show to others, then it won’t make any sense. Listen- If you think you can, then it’s fine, and if you think you can’t, then also you are right. But if you are positive, then you can your anxiety at bay and can effortlessly take good care of yourself.

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Ralph and for sharing your insights, too! And I agree – if you think you can, you’re right — yet if you think you can’t, you’re right too 😉 Big love to you sweet friend! x

  2. You’re preaching to the choir, Melissa!

    And that’s okay because the song you are singing is true. Building on strengths, re-framing and redirecting people toward success, supporting their progress toward their most positive outcome and assisting them in following through consistently until they can do it on their own is literally my job. It energizes me and does not drain me, mostly always. I have been doing this or other “helping” jobs like it for many years and I continue to learn a lot and receive a lot of satisfaction in watching those I work with heal and improve their lives. I find that when I emphasize the success and ability of others, acknowledging and validating how hard what they are overcoming truly is, and affirming that moving through this difficulty is their source of strength, wisdom and potential to create meaning in their lives, and when I do so with empathy and understanding that it is not easy, then no one resents my positive outlook. A positive outlook is not just about me. It’s about you and everyone else I meet. It’s about seeing just how amazing that single, aware, competent consciousness experiencing reality is wherever it is, ingeniously surviving and thriving. Namaste

    1. Hi Shanta, thank you for stopping by and leaving this lovely comment! Thank you for your kind words, and I also agree! Positivity isn’t just about you, it’s about everyone we come into contact with! Beautiful! Keep shining your light sweet friend! x

  3. Loving you’re blog, your thoughts and writings resonate very strongly with me. To let go of guilt and negative comments is hard for me, I’m leaning not to be a victium anymore. To take control and leave the guilt behind and do better next time. Get up forgive and keep trying. Be a better person each day.

    1. Hi Sandy, thank you so much for visiting my blog – I’m so happy you’re finding it helpful! Very well done taking the steps to be in control of your life sweet friend – let go, and keep moving forward and let the world see the beautiful person you are! Bless! #biglove

  4. This is exactly what I need to hear today. Thank you for reminder of ‘snipping of the cord’ to help the letting go process work its magic. I can be very sensitive especially when a stranger is unkind to me without provocation. The questions to ask are very helpful keep me on the path of positivity.
    I appreciate the time and effort it took for you to make this great video.

  5. Just Beautiful! I resonate with you with this very much. I feel I needed this reminder to stay on the path. I am normally Yes the Dreamy the Positive the Optimist but lately after almost 12 months of breastfeeding I’ve started to wean so my hormones are a bit wacky on top of other life situations. I’ve found myself questioning those around me.. motives and so forth which has put a damper on my overall well being. I understand the problem is not with others but within myself. I’m truly grateful that I have the knowledge to do something about this. And your absolutely right you cannot change others thoughts or intentions… what you can change is your thoughts your feelings your perspective. See the best in yourself and in others. If things don’t go as you would like then pick yourself back up and try try again… Just love your Energy your Message your Kindness to share it with others! Blessings

    1. Hi Nicole, thank you so much for taking the time to comment, your kind words and for sharing what you’re going through! Your self-awareness does you much credit sweet friend! It sounds like you know what you need to do, just one step at a time and you’ll get there 🙂 Keep shining! xo

  6. True words….learning to let go what does no longer serve us and also of toxic people whom are neither happy with their life.
    keep up with your good work – Thanks and namaste…..


    Good saying, Melissa, Keep the note as PDF. Anybody can copy it as yours “A TEACHER’s GIFT”
    Pls continue communicating with us like this, atleast fortnightly.

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