How to let go of expectations in 4 simple steps!

Let go so you can let love in

Because an integral part of my energy healing techniques revolve around ‘letting go’, I get asked by my students, “Melissa, how do you do this letting go thing you talk about?” 

So today’s post is all about answering the question: how do you let go?

The process is quite easy, so let’s get started!

How to let go of expectations

For me, there are 4 important components of letting go of expectations, and they are:

1. Acknowledgement
No matter what the intention is or was, making the conscious effort to look squarely at what the outcome is (or isn’t) and recognising it for what it is (or isn’t), is the foundational step towards unburdening yourself.  

2. Understanding
The next step, understanding, is more about understanding the fact that there’s a reason behind why something happened the way it did (or didn’t).  This step doesn’t mean you comprehend exactly what the details are that led to the outcome, but you know that life has it’s own process – and you understand that.

3. Assessment
Assessing the situation isn’t about becoming over-analytical and judgmental over what happened.  Don’t assess with the intention of trying to work out a way to “will” things to happen which just aren’t meant to happen.  This step is about realising what’s within the grasp of what you can do, within the reach of what you can affect — and ask yourself, “if I had done it a bit different, would the outcome have been different?

Sometimes you can’t control things, you can just start things moving – but then accept that what it is, at that point in time. This eases our analytical mind from overthinking and replaying things unnecessarily.

4. Gratitude
Last step is my favourite part: gratitude! Being  grateful for the fact you did the best you could, and that you have the opportunity to make a change in the next moment to make it different or better – if you choose – is a gift we are all blessed with.

By this point, you will realise that you can put the expectations down and let go – and move forward in life!

Remember, we’re gifted (and I truly mean that) with every second we that we grace this world. And with every second we have, it is another second chance to be better, be kinder, be more loving! I hope you realise how special that is, and that you can change for the better, you can let go to lighten your load, you can shine your light!

No matter where you are in your journey sweet friends, I hope you keep practicing spreading more love & light! #biglove

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14 thoughts on “How to let go of expectations in 4 simple steps!”

  1. very nicely explained and by which I can understand what a beautiful life you are living.
    I wish you best of the luck for your knowledge and health to help the people and teach nice nice real things.

  2. Thank you so much for this and all you do. I find myself learning to let go and accept that the Universal Energy will go where needed and this makes it easier to set my Intentions in a way that I know the greater good is always at work and is my guide. I appreciate you very much.

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Dawn, and you’re most welcome! I’m so glad you’ve gotten value from our journey together – it’s truly an honour! And I appreciate you, too and all the light you’re spreading in this world (it needs it!) Big love!

  3. Hi Melissa,

    What happens when the expectation hasn’t been met, although you’ve tried everything you can think of and given it to the field to deal with, but it’s something that needs to be dealt with so you can’t just give up? Can you let it go while you’re still expecting an answer for it?

    1. Hi Georgia, thank you for stopping by and yes of course! Let me clarify a big more though, sweet friend! Firstly – please understand that letting go isn’t about “giving up” — it’s actually far from it! The idea of giving up is rooted in our ego, letting go isn’t about that – it’s about trusting life. For example, I just recently had a serious family emergency, where I naturally had hopes and expectations for the outcome. In that situation, “letting go” was an essential part of me being of service and support to my family, because what good was I going to be if I continuously tormented my mind and emotions over what *I* wanted to happen? The hope never faded in my heart, but my ego expectation did. By “letting go”, I didn’t allow myself to waste valuable energy pining over something I couldn’t control. My hopes in my heart were always strong, but also knew that irrespective of the outcome – I had to accept it. That is letting go – being able to set your intention in your heart, then trust life 🙂 I hope that helps Georgia, big love to you! x

  4. Thank you for these tips, Melissa! I am a strong emotional reactor and numbering these steps provides my left brain with the tools it needs to bring me back to center. Also the reminder about gratitude was so important. I’ve been reciting the 5 Reiki principles daily and being grateful resonates strongly with me right now. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. I feel so connected to you and your teaching! Be well. Love and light to you!

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Julie, I’m so glad these tips helped! It sounds like you’re doing so well on your journey of blossoming your light – I’m very proud of you! Keep up your wonderful work, big love to you! x

  5. Hi Melissa! Thank you for this brief explanation. It is allways good to remember what you teached us.Big Love To You. Namaste!

  6. Thanks so much for this. I am at the point of my journey where I can understand this and see myself going thru these steps! Thanks for giving me this clarity!

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