Is living a positive life some sort of airy-fairy, pie-in-the-sky, un-achievable way of living? I’ve had quite a lot of experiences in my life of people saying to me that “You aren’t being real” or “You’re ignoring the issue at hand”. The only reason why they’re saying that is because I tend to err on the positive side of life.
So, what I wanted to talk about today is that being a positive person, or thinking the best of others, or hoping and expecting the best outcome, doesn’t make one ignorant of life. But what it does do, is make you a really good player in the game of life!
A little more explanation.
So I’m aware of world events, I’m aware of negative things happening – even in my own life – just like you! But the point of difference here is that I’ve learned how to process these negative things – be they unfulfilled aspirations or goals or events I don’t like – where the fact that they happened doesn’t wear my energy down.
How do I live like this?
Well, you’ll see a theme throughout all my blogs of something called, ‘letting go’. I feel the feelings of disappointment upset, even anger from time to time – and I’m aware of things going on around me. But because I’m aware of it, I’m able to process it and go, <exhale> “Alright! That didn’t happen the way I wanted it to”, or “Geez the world’s in a precarious state”, or “Why did that person do this or that”, or “Why are these outcomes not what I want?”
Once I process the relevant question, I ask myself, “What can I control?” If you don’t do this step in awareness, of recognising what you can control – and you just let whatever the negative outcome is affect you to the point you dwell on it (like “There are no good people left” or “Nothing ever goes my way”), then your focus in life becomes that negative.
And the more you focus on it, the more you believe it. And the more you believe it, the more you’ll get that negative result in your life.
Is this just avoiding the issue?
No, living a positive life isn’t about avoiding the issues at hand or the hurdles you face. Living a positive life is about keeping your focus, as much as you can, on the things you do want in life. Sure, you might not have the ideal job, or have found your perfect partner, or be where you want to be right now – but what you can control, is the enjoyment level of your experiences as you go through them.
That’s the part of life you ultimately have control over – how you feel in response to what’s happening to you ‘out there’.
To me, this is the ideal way to live the life you want. You are in this game of life, and you want to play the game really well, you don’t want to be a bad sport – because we all know how we feel about those who deny outcomes and storm off the court.
When you have a good attitude, but also a realistic one – where you acknowledge, “Okay, that didn’t work but I’m going to try another way!” or perhaps you’re going to try something else, that is good sport – a good ‘team player’ in this game of life.
If you’re already a positive type of person, who lives this way – just keep living your life, your dreams, and don’t worry about those who don’t believe you or like you. You can’t control them, but you can control you – so stay focused on that.
Now the harder challenge is for those who tend to be more negative in their life’s journey. The next time something comes up that you get upset or negative about. Instead of being upset allllll the way home, or talk about it endlessly – I challenge you to acknowledge it. Embrace it, feel that disappointment or upset. Let your brain ramble on.
Then ask your ego brain that’s on a negative rampage, “Hold up! If I think about it anymore, what’s this going to do for me?” And your mind might say, “To keep you from doing it again”. But then you’ll respond saying, “I get that but, you see, if I keep thinking about it it keeps my focus on that, so I’ll likely do it again. That’s not a good answer.” Then your mind will try to replay the negative again, and you’ll ask it, “So how is this making my life better right now?” Ultimately, your brain will be stumped and not be able to give you an answer that’s supportive or worth your while.
So you’ve felt it, you’ve thought about it. It’s crap. But you can’t control it, it’s not what you wanted – but what can you control? What you’re going to do from here. That’s what you can control. So you need to focus your thoughts on working out what you need to do, to get to where you want. Either planning the next steps, or allow others to do what they want, or just do what’s best for you.
Then let it go and move on with your life.
Be a good player in your game of life – acknowledge the defeats, process and analyse the next steps to overcome whatever it was, and do it this way so you aren’t letting negative events affect a majority of your journey. I hope you found this helpful sweet friends, and good luck – be the best you starting now! #biglove