Feel drained around certain people? 😩 Here’s what to do! ✨

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You're more perceptive than you realise! 🌸

You might leave a coffee catch-up with friends feeling fine, but an hour or so later you’re exhausted! Not physically tired, but exhausted within – as though you’re emptied out in a deeper way. Your head might feel foggy or your mood negatively shifted. You just want to be alone for the rest of the day just to recover… 🥱

Or perhaps it’s closer to home, maybe a close friend or family member. You love them, you genuinely do, but spending time with them takes energy from you. Every time.

If this sounds familiar, I want you to know: you’re not alone and you are not imagining it! Furthermore, you’re not being weak nor uncharitable.  What you’re experiencing is real, especially for those of us who work with energy healing, we understand it all too well!

What's actually happening (energetically speaking)

Every one of us has an energy field (some know it as our Aura) which extends outward from the body. This Aura is in a constant, yet subtle, exchange with the environment and the people around us. Most of the time, our interactions are healthy and natural – energy flows in and out, just like the gentle ebb and flow of the tides 🌊.

But some people, or some situations, create an energetic dynamic that is not a gentle give-and-take but more like a one-way drain. This can happen for several reasons…

Energetic vampirism 🧛

More often than not, those who drain our energy aren’t doing it deliberately.  What’s happening is they’re likely to be operating from a place of energetic depletion themselves – and without knowing it. As such, they unconsciously try to replenish their own energy from those around them. People who are highly empathic or energetically open are particularly susceptible to this – such as energy healers and Reiki practitioners.

Unresolved emotions 😭

When major events happen in life, it’s understandable that some will carry around a little extra “baggage” for a while. However, this turns into a bigger problem when they don’t “shed” the baggage – and let go – so they can begin to move forward.  Embodying unresolved grief, anger, fear, or trauma can consume them to the point where that negative energy is all they’ve got – then radiates outward.

If you spend time with someone like this, as in – you’re in close proximity to their field (aka. Aura) – and if your own Aura isn’t well protected, you will most likely absorb some of the negative energy they’re exuding. It’s important to know that this is different from compassion; compassion is listening and being supportive without taking on someone’s energetic burden – if you’re not well protected, you’ll absorb negativity in a sort of unconscious “energetic osmosis” process.

Incompatible energy frequencies 💥

Sometimes this exhaustion doesn’t come from negativity but from incompatible frequencies. Two energy fields that vibrate at very different rates will create a subtle friction when they’re near or in contact with each other. Again, this doesn’t mean either is doing anything wrong; what it means is that your energies do not resonate with each other naturally.

Energetic sensitivity ✨

If you’re highly empathic — that’s someone who’s deeply attuned to the emotions and experiences of others — you’re going to feel things more intensely than most. Whilst this is a gift, if you don’t have the skills and boundaries to manage it, it can leave you exhausted after ordinary social interactions. Understanding your sensitivity, and learning how to work with it (rather than against it) is going to be one of most powerful things you’ll ever do for your wellbeing! 🌸

Signs you've absorbed someone else's energy ⚠️

  • Suddenly feeling tired, foggy, or emotionally flat after engaging with someone or something; and/or,
  • Finding yourself in a mood that doesn’t quite feel like you; and/or,
  • Feeling heaviness, tension, or nausea that appeared after being around someone or in a specific place; and/or,
  • Replaying (or reliving) someone else’s problems in your head for hours or even days after hearing about it; and/or,
  • Being confused about what you actually feel vs. what the other person felt; and/or,
  • Needing significant alone time after socialising.

What to do about It 🌿

Learn to cleanse your Aura 🌈

When you feel drained, an Aura cleanse can make a remarkable difference to how you feel – and pretty immediately! Visualising yourself under a white-light waterfall (like a shower!) will wash that heavy energy away. You can also physically cleanse by taking a salt bath, saging, and grounding in nature, too!

If you’re keen to learn more about the process of cleansing and healing your field, view my Aura healing course here ✨

Set energetic boundaries 🛡️

Doing this simple process before spending time in crowds or with draining people can make a significant difference:

  • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths,
  • Imagine a bubble of protective golden light surrounding you,
  • This bubble allows love to pass in and out freely, but it deflects negative and unhelpful energy away from you. This allows you to stay supportive and caring for others, without absorbing anyone else’s issues.
  • Say the intention: My energy is protected and strong today.
Build your own energy reserves 🌱

I can’t stress this enough – one of the best ways to protect your gentle heart is by ensuring your own energy reserves are robust!  Get enough sleep, get good nourishment, spend some time in nature, allow yourself to be creative, move, and whenever possible – meditate!  All of these things are small on their own, but when combined they build ample energetic reserves  to make your less susceptible to depletion. 

Learn energetic protection ✨

Everyone needs a little extra help from time to time, so if you’re constantly drained — especially those in caring or helping professions, like healthcare workers or healers — then my Energetic Protection Course is going to help! It covers everything from identifying the source of the drain to step-by-step techniques to build up your energetic boundaries! 🌟

Verbalize affirmations 🎙️
  • I stay grounded and centred in all interactions.
  • I am compassionate without carrying what isn’t mine.
  • I release all energy that doesn’t belong to me, with love and ease.

Be kind to yourself ✨

Some may say that “you’re too sensitive” when it’s more likely that you’re not protected enough.  Remember, your kind heart that’s touched easily by others is a gift — as long as you have the right skills and support to protect it — becomes one of your greatest strengths 💗.

You deserve to come home to yourself, and to be yourself, after every interaction – every time – everyday. That’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity for your wellbeing! So please protect your energy sweet friend 🙏

  • You belong here.
  • You are worthy.
  • You are valued.
  • You are loved.

Big love to you always 💖
Melissa

🚨 Important! If your exhaustion is severe, persistent, or significantly affecting your quality of life, please speak with a doctor or mental health professional. Help is available for you right now at places like Beyond Blue who offer free, confidential support. 💙 Remember, energy healing is a beautiful complementary practice alongside, not in place professional care.

Frequently Asked Questions 🌸

Am I an empath?

The term “empath” is generally used to describe those who are highly attuned to the emotions and energy of others. They can sense what others feel as strongly as (or more strongly than) their own feelings. If you resonated with what I wrote on this post, there’s a good chance you have significant empathic sensitivity – you can take my Empath Quiz here if you’re unsure! Many of my courses help empaths understand and work with their gifts, rather than being overwhelmed by them.

Can energy drain be a form of emotional manipulation?

In some cases, yes it certain can! Sometimes referred to as ‘narcissistic’ or ‘coercive’ patterns, one can feel profoundly drained because of your involvement with another who consistently draws your energy, your attention, your validation, or and your motions. If you believe you’re in a relationship with someone who is actively manipulating you, please seek support from a qualified mental health professional or counsellor – or from places like Beyond Blue who offer free, confidential support.

Why do I feel drained by social events even when I enjoy them?

This is very common outcome among introverts and empaths because social environments involve a high level of energetic exchange. The even may be fun at the time, but it can soon take a toll. Refer to the “What to do about it” section above to ensure you keep your energetic boundaries in place. I also have a blog about being overwhelmed in crowds, which may be helpful!

Can Reiki help?

Yes! Many empaths and sensitive people find Reiki positively transformative! Reiki teaches you how to manage your own energy, clear any energy you’ve absorbed, and build the resilience to go forward – and possibly beyond to help others if you choose to!

More questions? Visit our FAQ page.

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