Self talk is more important than (all three of) you realise.
The little rhythmic “Me, myself and I” phrase might seem altogether void of meaning at first glance, but it actually gives us a tiny glimpse into a great self truth: When you speak to yourself, there is somebody listening. Honestly, there is. Stay with me here…
Me, Myself, and I
I have, on many occasion, heard people abuse themselves over the littlest things. Yes, I said abuse themselves, for that is exactly what they do when they say “Stupid!” or “Idiot” when they drop their keys while carrying their groceries to their car, or accidentally delete a number from their phone. Oftentimes I wonder, would this person accept that sort of language from anyone else on the matter? Perhaps yes, perhaps no.
What I’d like to draw your attention to now is, that no matter how small the negative word is (fat, ugly, useless, stupid, lazy, slack, etc) – somebody is listening – and that somebody is you. Even if you’re completely and utterly alone, when you dish out bad self talk, you are serving it up to yourself to swallow.
Who's your biggest cheerleader?
A lot of people might shrug this off and respond to me with, “I’m just saying that, but I don’t mean it really”. I beg to differ, and greatly. What’s the point to think and say anything unless it matters? If the action which spurred on the negative self talk didn’t mean anything to you, then you wouldn’t think or say it, right? The very act of uttering negative words to your self – silently or out loud – is an admission to yourself of how you feel. And who’s your biggest cheerleader? The part of you who listens. And if you don’t give yourself a good wrap, you make it harder for you to cheer yourself on…especially when you need it most.
It's just me talking though...
I expect there are many out there who now question my sanity, thinking, “What’s she’s going on about? When I talk to myself, it’s just me talking to myself, there’s no separation!” In my opinion, that is utterly incorrect. When you speak to yourself, when you think, when you day dream, when you do anything – there is, at the very least, a doer and a watcher (or listener). Stop a moment and think about that. And while you think about that, notice that one part of you is doing, while another part is listening. Yes my friend, you are more complicated and grand than you may have ever realised.
Positive self talk can change your entire life
Make a point to stop and recognize whenever you utter anything negative to yourself – and change it right away. Correct it by apologizing and replacing it with a loving and supportive statement. Who better to nurture your soul, cradle your glorious-ness, than yourself? Let me be quite clear here, I’m not talking about adding conceit or arrogance to your daily routine. What I’m talking about is giving yourself allowance to be who you are – despite the circumstance – even if, in that moment, you made a mistake, or didn’t do the best you could. This simple shift in your internal chatter from negative to positive can, and will, change your entire life – and eventually the lives of others!
Practice with yourself, you!
This process takes practice. Like learning to walk or riding a bike, don’t give up just because you don’t notice major improvements after the first few attempts. Do the best you can to avoid abusing yourself in order to teach a lesson; encourage yourself through positive self talk – such as, “The next time I’m in the check-out line, I will be kind to the girl serving me” instead of “You idiot, you didn’t have to be rude!”
Isn’t that what you would do for a family member, friend, or child when wanting to teach them something for their own good? Learning through pain or anger simply instills more of the same – pain and anger. Whereas if you talk to yourself with love and support, it will instill more of that wonderful good stuff!
What's your self talk like?
How do you treat yourself? Do say things to nurture inner growth, happiness and love? Or do you self-sabotage your life by belittling the only house in which you live in right now? You. You are too beautiful to abuse, treat yourself kindly and take care with whatever words you place after I am…
So, do you think I’m crazy, talking about us as though there is more than one of us in the same body? Or do you agree? I’d love to hear your comments, feel free to leave one below!