Truly forgive and lighten the load of your life.

I believe the act of true forgiveness is one of the strongest forces we can experience, whether you’re the forgiver or the one being forgiven. What’s more, true forgiveness means that you don’t carry the weight of the event on your shoulders for the rest of your life.

And while its very nature is gentle, the act of forgiving can strengthen your inner core like nothing else. Yes, forgiveness does include the softening of once hard feelings, but the process of relaxing that rigidity is by no means synonymous with weakness.

How it makes you stronger.

Holding onto negativity, even if you were indeed slighted and hurt, does not strengthen you spiritually or physically. It’s actually quite the contrary.

Carrying around the bitterness associated with an offence is like a keeping a wound, on the verge of healing, open and susceptible to inflammation and pain. You may forget it’s there or try to cover it up, but if someone bumps into it – oh boy! There you go! You’re right back where you were, as if the event was happening all over again.

And over time, that negative energy in your body, which never heals, can transform into physical ailment very easily.

So unless you want to tip-toe through life with emotional land mines all around you, then intentionally working through whatever the issue was and letting go of the negative emotions associated with it is the only way to get that wound to finally heal.

And once you do, you won’t feel much, if anything, if the old wound is grazed again. As a matter of fact, you will be able to recall the event as if a spectator watching a show – and potentially even wish the offender well.

The forgiveness barometer.

We each have our own internal forgiveness ‘barometer’ with the gauge constantly fluctuating from one extreme to the other. It’s true, just think about it! There are some misgivings which we’ll pardon without much effort, while others are like lead weights around our ankles, disallowing us to move anywhere near forgiveness.

The biggest challenge for each of us is how willing we are to allow ourselves to truly forgive – not as a matter of acquiescing, or trying to hush things up, or by allowing someone to be right or wrong – but for our own health, our own good. It’s a long, long road ahead if you’re not willing to put down all the issues you pick up along the way…

So here are three easy steps that I personally to do to help offload the ‘excess’ baggage in my life:

1. Pack it up.

Almost all of us can do this ‘pack it up’ part with little thought. Whatever the event or issue, we take it and bundle into a little emotional package. Some of us throw it on our back. Some of us put it in a pocket. Some of us parade it around and show others at every opportunity.

Packing up the negative instance is a great first step, because it allows us to look at the issue, analyse, criticise, and try to make sense of it. But in and of itself the act of packing it up is not forgiveness. All you’ve done is package up another piece of emotional luggage that you may carry through the rest of your life. That’s unless you move onto the next step…

2. Put it down.

This process tends to be harder than the first step, because it involves you displacing the negativity from your being and removing it from your core. You may wonder at my comment, thinking – why would anyone want to keep associating with a negative thing that happened in their life? Yes, it’s a little odd, but over time, people do start to identify with their sad stories, their fears and woes. Even to the point where they talk of them almost like badges of honour.

Depending on where you packed up the issue and how long ago you started carrying it, putting it down can indeed be difficult. However, the recognition that – no matter how old, fresh, small or severe the issue is – choosing not to carry it anymore is freeing and liberating beyond belief. It will allow you to finally breathe easier.

I’d like to be very clear here though. I’m not saying to pretend it didn’t happen, that’s not the step. This step is to realise you are carrying something that no longer serves your greatest and highest good. So put it down. Stop carrying it. However, putting it down, while a milestone in your forgiveness process, just means it’s there but you’re just not carrying it.

Perhaps right beside you, or behind you, or in front of you. Meaning you can pick up it far too easily again. So this last step, the hardest one, it the most vital.

3. Walk away.

walking_away

So walking away doesn’t negate the fact that horrible or sad event ever happened. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt you. It doesn’t mean you are heartless or insensitive. In conjunction with the first two steps above, walking away empowers you to move on with your life. It’s strengthens you as you realise you do indeed have control over it and how much it will impact your life.

You know what happened, because you packed it up. You understand that while it did happen, it’s not part of you, because you put it down.  And walking away allows you to put distance between you and it, thus creates the space on your path to welcome bigger and better things into your life.  You won’t have the urge to pick it up again because it’s no longer near you — and you are too busy moving forward, looking ahead.

Rinse & repeat.

While this is indeed a three-step process, it’s not necessarily a once-off one. You may find you have to repeat a step or two to truly be able to walk away. But the love and light you will feel once you truly forgive is worth the exercise.  

Remember, you are worth it – so don’t give up.  I say that because this process has truly helped me in my life, and I hope it gives you some insights on how you can walk your life’s journey only carrying things which serve your greatest and highest good.  Big love to you my friends, namaste. xo

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59 thoughts on “Pack it up, put it down, walk away. How to truly forgive.”

  1. This is wonderful! I know it will take practice to fully walk away but the visual here will definitely help. Thank you so much! I’m currently working on the Reiki course and loving it. I have done up to level 2 before and even volunteered at a hospice center but I feel like I am learning so much more this time around. Thank you so much!!

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Shelly, I’m so glad to hear this was helpful for you – and that you’re enjoying our journey together! Please stay safe, big love to you!

  2. Namaste Melissa. 🙂
    Your course is slowly helping me look inward.

    I sometimes miss to acknowledge that i am carrying a baggage.
    But fear keeps creeping in. Unable to understand the root cause.
    Does it apply to the sadness of someones death? hardtimes in the family?
    How to let go of this baggage.
    Thank you.

    1. Thank you for stopping by Shruti, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed our journey together! Please just continue to practice the steps in this post – it might take you a few tries before you get the hang of it! Keep moving forward sweet friend, good luck and big love!

    2. Such informative and empowering aspects. Not forgiving is as I read somewhere, digging up old Graves. So it is actually good to let go and let God. Thanks once more for the extract.
      Namaste

  3. Thank you for this beautiful post. I am in the process of “packing up” a lot of things right now, but I will need the rest of this process. Thank you for shining your light on that.

  4. Hi Melissa,
    I have been doing a lot of work on forgiving a certain issue with my partner and it has been challenging for me to find a method that works and really sticks. I feel like somehow if I “forgive it” I then let the issue slide and let it “be okay” when it was not… These 3 steps feel good and really resonate with me greatly and I feel it will work for me (all along I have been missing the third step!) but I wonder if you perhaps have a guided meditation or can recommend one to do when I feel I need a rinse and repeat?

    Thanks so much, I feel and know this course has come at exactly the right time for me. XX

    Allie

    1. Hi Allie, thank you so much for stopping by and I’m so glad my steps resonate and work for you! Right now I don’t have the 3-steps in just a meditation format, but I do have it on my list of things ‘to do’ and hope to have one released in the coming month. In the meantime, you might just want listen to my 2-minutes with your sacred self meditation here, consider taking my Meditation course where I provide a few guided meditations about negative thoughts and fear, or Google a forgiveness meditation 🙂 I hope that helps, and hope you continue to blossom that sweet spirit of yours! Big love x

        1. Hi Allie,

          I’ve found the Ho’Oponopono meditation really helpful. If you search for Aaron Doughty and Ho’Oponopono, you’ll find a video where he explains it and then takes you through it.

          Love,
          Antonia

  5. I am loving this course. I have been stuck on the second step with a huge issue with my family for many years not knowing where to go from here. I am so relieved to think about just walking away from the issue. It has been packed up, I have put it down and now you have shown me how to walk away from it. Thank you so very much. I know now that if I find anything in the way again I can follow these steps. Thank you for your kind and sage advice. Namaste.

    1. Hi Elizabeth, thank you so much for stopping by! I’m so glad you’re enjoying our journey together, and that this post was helpful for you! You are most welcome, and I hope you keep shining sweet friend, big love!

  6. The way this is write makes it easy to follow. And allows you to truly remove any and all negative energy from yourself. And to enjoy the positive energy. Thank the gods we have a great teacher. May the gods continue to bless you in all things. #biglove #atrueblessing #spiritualteachings

  7. This 3 step process is, in my mind, a productive form of visualization. You can see each step in your minds eye. It’s much like boxing up something, dropping it off at the post office, and simply walking out the door. You do so with the confidence that it will reach it’s final destination and you no longer have a need to carry it with you.

  8. Thank you for being able to put this down into words. Mentally feels like I knew this all along, but to find it in words, solidifies alot in my life.

  9. CAROLYN TOWN - 28TH JANUARY 2019

    Just before I started your course I had begun to realise that for me to move on in my life and to grow it was time that I found some way to forgive and to lay to rest this issue that has brought so much hurt and unhappiness to me over the past twenty and more years. As I work my way through the course I have learnt so much that has helped me to see things more clearly, thank you so much for this Namaste, I owe you so much for your words of encouragement and understanding.

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Carolyn – and bless! What a wonderful self-realisation you’ve undergone, I am so happy that you’re nurturing your soul and seeing things more clearly now! I’m very proud of you, and you are most welcome sweet friend! Keep it up! #biglove

  10. Thank you for sharing these simple steps. Along with visualization, I find them very helpful for understanding how much of holding onto these past transgressions perpetuates pain which has past transpired. The metaphor of being bumped on an open wound resonated well with me. When I think about step 3, just walking away from the packed up baggage, part of me feels incomplete or irresponsible, like leaving luggage unattended at the airport. I think I will want to take a fourth step to bury it– not in my subconscious as it was before, but perhaps beneath a tree or where I might return a deceased loved one to the Earth. Then hopefully the decomposition of the emotion which no longer serves me can serve to create nutrients for the tree or richness for the earthworms.

    1. Hi Mo, thank you so much for stopping by and you are most welcome – I’m so glad to hear you found this process helpful! And if adding another step helps you, and works for you, by all means feel free to do it! I hope you continue to blossom and shine that beautiful light of yours! #biglove

  11. Joanne Evelyn Davey

    Thank you Melissa for helping me by showing a way to forgive as well as forget and move on. Thank you so much for spending the time creating your Reiki Master course, I’m on my way to become a better version of me and your help has been a God send. Namaste ?

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Joanne, and bless! You are so welcome, I’m so glad this was helpful for you and that you’ve enjoyed the Reiki course! Keep spreading your love & light! x

  12. There are people I am not comfortable with, there are loads and loads of hates , hurts and bad feelings for people who are close. It is very difficult for me to pretend all the time ,like, there is no issue….even the first step seems very far…. almost unreachable

    1. Hi Sumti, thank you for stopping by and bless – I understand! Please know that I do not endorse “pretending” – for me, forgiveness is all about letting go, so you can stop carrying around things which no longer serve your greatest and highest good. I hope you keep shining your light! x

  13. Hi
    It has been very hard for me to forgive even when is family I need to work a little more to let go, put down and walk away,

    Namaste

    1. Hi Carmen, thank you for taking the time to visit this blog – and I understand! I’m proud that you’re willing to work on letting go, putting it down – and walking away 🙂 Keep shining sweet friend! #biglove

  14. I just started your course, and I love it! I needed this today. Something happened with my family and I’m feeling like I need to let it (and some things from the past ) go as a result. Those wounds were knocked and it made it all hurt again … You are so right on with that analogy! Thanks for the fantastic course. Namaste

    1. Hi Jenn, thank you so much for stopping by and I’m very pleased to hear you’re enjoying the course — and that you found this blog helpful! You are most welcome sweet friend, keep shining your light x

  15. Thank you for this great article, Melissa! I just did your Rieki Master course! All these things are happening in my life naturally and the Reiki is a wonderful tool for showing me how to channel it. Again…thank you! Namaste #biglove
    Julie Snyder

  16. I love the way you have described this process. It is an extremely effective way of letting go for me. Thank you.

  17. This is very inspirational, I think with time and practice we all will learn to walk away for a better self.

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Claudia – and I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! I agree, with time and practice – we can all let go and forgive! Keep shining! #biglove

  18. i’ve realised that for a number of issues, I may have packed it up, but not put it down. I may have put it down, but not walked away. Also in reflecting, I sense that these emotional pieces of baggage, have manifested into physical pains. I shall listen to/read again this post and reflect some more to identify the issue and go through this process with each issue. I like how you put it – rinse and repeat. Like a lot of things, we have to keep practicing so that it becomes like second nature. Bless you.

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Laura-Ann, I’m glad you found this blog helpful! And yes! 🙂 Rinse & repeat – to clear away those things which don’t serve us anymore. Thank you again and big love xo

  19. Need to rinse and repeat on bigger issues, they are harder not to go back to. I can walk away but tend to wonder back again. One day I will not return. Namaste,

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