Truly forgive and lighten the load of your life.

I believe the act of true forgiveness is one of the strongest forces we can experience, whether you’re the forgiver or the one being forgiven. What’s more, true forgiveness means that you don’t carry the weight of the event on your shoulders for the rest of your life.

And while its very nature is gentle, the act of forgiving can strengthen your inner core like nothing else. Yes, forgiveness does include the softening of once hard feelings, but the process of relaxing that rigidity is by no means synonymous with weakness.

How it makes you stronger.

Holding onto negativity, even if you were indeed slighted and hurt, does not strengthen you spiritually or physically. It’s actually quite the contrary.

Carrying around the bitterness associated with an offence is like a keeping a wound, on the verge of healing, open and susceptible to inflammation and pain. You may forget it’s there or try to cover it up, but if someone bumps into it – oh boy! There you go! You’re right back where you were, as if the event was happening all over again.

And over time, that negative energy in your body, which never heals, can transform into physical ailment very easily.

So unless you want to tip-toe through life with emotional land mines all around you, then intentionally working through whatever the issue was and letting go of the negative emotions associated with it is the only way to get that wound to finally heal.

And once you do, you won’t feel much, if anything, if the old wound is grazed again. As a matter of fact, you will be able to recall the event as if a spectator watching a show – and potentially even wish the offender well.

The forgiveness barometer.

We each have our own internal forgiveness ‘barometer’ with the gauge constantly fluctuating from one extreme to the other. It’s true, just think about it! There are some misgivings which we’ll pardon without much effort, while others are like lead weights around our ankles, disallowing us to move anywhere near forgiveness.

The biggest challenge for each of us is how willing we are to allow ourselves to truly forgive – not as a matter of acquiescing, or trying to hush things up, or by allowing someone to be right or wrong – but for our own health, our own good. It’s a long, long road ahead if you’re not willing to put down all the issues you pick up along the way…

So here are three easy steps that I personally to do to help offload the ‘excess’ baggage in my life:

1. Pack it up.

Almost all of us can do this ‘pack it up’ part with little thought. Whatever the event or issue, we take it and bundle into a little emotional package. Some of us throw it on our back. Some of us put it in a pocket. Some of us parade it around and show others at every opportunity.

Packing up the negative instance is a great first step, because it allows us to look at the issue, analyse, criticise, and try to make sense of it. But in and of itself the act of packing it up is not forgiveness. All you’ve done is package up another piece of emotional luggage that you may carry through the rest of your life. That’s unless you move onto the next step…

2. Put it down.

This process tends to be harder than the first step, because it involves you displacing the negativity from your being and removing it from your core. You may wonder at my comment, thinking – why would anyone want to keep associating with a negative thing that happened in their life? Yes, it’s a little odd, but over time, people do start to identify with their sad stories, their fears and woes. Even to the point where they talk of them almost like badges of honour.

Depending on where you packed up the issue and how long ago you started carrying it, putting it down can indeed be difficult. However, the recognition that – no matter how old, fresh, small or severe the issue is – choosing not to carry it anymore is freeing and liberating beyond belief. It will allow you to finally breathe easier.

I’d like to be very clear here though. I’m not saying to pretend it didn’t happen, that’s not the step. This step is to realise you are carrying something that no longer serves your greatest and highest good. So put it down. Stop carrying it. However, putting it down, while a milestone in your forgiveness process, just means it’s there but you’re just not carrying it.

Perhaps right beside you, or behind you, or in front of you. Meaning you can pick up it far too easily again. So this last step, the hardest one, it the most vital.

3. Walk away.


So walking away doesn’t negate the fact that horrible or sad event ever happened. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt you. It doesn’t mean you are heartless or insensitive. In conjunction with the first two steps above, walking away empowers you to move on with your life. It’s strengthens you as you realise you do indeed have control over it and how much it will impact your life.

You know what happened, because you packed it up. You understand that while it did happen, it’s not part of you, because you put it down.  And walking away allows you to put distance between you and it, thus creates the space on your path to welcome bigger and better things into your life.  You won’t have the urge to pick it up again because it’s no longer near you — and you are too busy moving forward, looking ahead.

Rinse & repeat.

While this is indeed a three-step process, it’s not necessarily a once-off one. You may find you have to repeat a step or two to truly be able to walk away. But the love and light you will feel once you truly forgive is worth the exercise.  

Remember, you are worth it – so don’t give up.  I say that because this process has truly helped me in my life, and I hope it gives you some insights on how you can walk your life’s journey only carrying things which serve your greatest and highest good.  Big love to you my friends, namaste. xo

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66 thoughts on “Pack it up, put it down, walk away. How to truly forgive.”

  1. Reading this helped me to realize that although I’ve done a lot of “packing up”, I haven’t fully let go. I’ve continued to pick things up and don’t believe I have truly walked away from much. This process is going to help me to truly let go. Thank you!

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Brittney, and I’m so happy to hear this process is valuable for you! Bless you and the ‘lightening of your load’ for your journey sweet friend, big love x

  2. Its easier to let go of negative energy and not carry it around so it doesn’t have impact on your life and try and walk away a happier person with no negative feelings for better health thanks mellissa this has been a blessing to listened to and makes me think of the reiki precepts .

      1. Ramya Priyadarshini

        Hi Melissa

        Thanks a lot for the attunement. I am so glad I part of this journey. I am seeing a lot of changes in me in terms of positivity but sometimes wrong thoughts also come. I am unable to control or let go. You were absolutely right my throat chakra is impacted I am having some issues in hearing. How.can.i talk to you? I have so many questions

        1. Namaste Ramya, thank you for your message and bless, it was my honour! I’m so glad some of the observations I made resonate with you <3 Please refer to the "how to get in touch with Melissa" lecture of the course on how to converse with me about your ceremony sweet friend, thank you so much and big love to you!

  3. Maria Zankiewicz

    Hello Melissa, (it’s my first post here!) Thank you for this! You explained the process. Forgiveness, it is possible! I began my energy healing journey from toxic relationships, about a year ago. Self-reflection from my childhood helped. I am so grateful for strength, love and courage to rise above. I am connecting, and will continue to learn, develop and contribute wellness for ourselves, mother nature and our pets 🙂 Happy New Year!

  4. This is wonderful! I know it will take practice to fully walk away but the visual here will definitely help. Thank you so much! I’m currently working on the Reiki course and loving it. I have done up to level 2 before and even volunteered at a hospice center but I feel like I am learning so much more this time around. Thank you so much!!

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Shelly, I’m so glad to hear this was helpful for you – and that you’re enjoying our journey together! Please stay safe, big love to you!

  5. Namaste Melissa. 🙂
    Your course is slowly helping me look inward.

    I sometimes miss to acknowledge that i am carrying a baggage.
    But fear keeps creeping in. Unable to understand the root cause.
    Does it apply to the sadness of someones death? hardtimes in the family?
    How to let go of this baggage.
    Thank you.

    1. Thank you for stopping by Shruti, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed our journey together! Please just continue to practice the steps in this post – it might take you a few tries before you get the hang of it! Keep moving forward sweet friend, good luck and big love!

    2. Such informative and empowering aspects. Not forgiving is as I read somewhere, digging up old Graves. So it is actually good to let go and let God. Thanks once more for the extract.

  6. Thank you for this beautiful post. I am in the process of “packing up” a lot of things right now, but I will need the rest of this process. Thank you for shining your light on that.

  7. Hi Melissa,
    I have been doing a lot of work on forgiving a certain issue with my partner and it has been challenging for me to find a method that works and really sticks. I feel like somehow if I “forgive it” I then let the issue slide and let it “be okay” when it was not… These 3 steps feel good and really resonate with me greatly and I feel it will work for me (all along I have been missing the third step!) but I wonder if you perhaps have a guided meditation or can recommend one to do when I feel I need a rinse and repeat?

    Thanks so much, I feel and know this course has come at exactly the right time for me. XX


    1. Hi Allie, thank you so much for stopping by and I’m so glad my steps resonate and work for you! Right now I don’t have the 3-steps in just a meditation format, but I do have it on my list of things ‘to do’ and hope to have one released in the coming month. In the meantime, you might just want listen to my 2-minutes with your sacred self meditation here, consider taking my Meditation course where I provide a few guided meditations about negative thoughts and fear, or Google a forgiveness meditation 🙂 I hope that helps, and hope you continue to blossom that sweet spirit of yours! Big love x

        1. Hi Allie,

          I’ve found the Ho’Oponopono meditation really helpful. If you search for Aaron Doughty and Ho’Oponopono, you’ll find a video where he explains it and then takes you through it.


  8. I am loving this course. I have been stuck on the second step with a huge issue with my family for many years not knowing where to go from here. I am so relieved to think about just walking away from the issue. It has been packed up, I have put it down and now you have shown me how to walk away from it. Thank you so very much. I know now that if I find anything in the way again I can follow these steps. Thank you for your kind and sage advice. Namaste.

    1. Hi Elizabeth, thank you so much for stopping by! I’m so glad you’re enjoying our journey together, and that this post was helpful for you! You are most welcome, and I hope you keep shining sweet friend, big love!

  9. The way this is write makes it easy to follow. And allows you to truly remove any and all negative energy from yourself. And to enjoy the positive energy. Thank the gods we have a great teacher. May the gods continue to bless you in all things. #biglove #atrueblessing #spiritualteachings

  10. This 3 step process is, in my mind, a productive form of visualization. You can see each step in your minds eye. It’s much like boxing up something, dropping it off at the post office, and simply walking out the door. You do so with the confidence that it will reach it’s final destination and you no longer have a need to carry it with you.

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